Originally posted by Gareth Pye:

“Just between friends” isn't a valid get out of jail free for many reasons:* When you get away with it with old friends you might try it out with newfriends or strangers. These new people may not like it but still feel likethey can't (or don't know they should) speak up about it. So when everinappropriate behaviour happens we need to be on top of it.* Other people can and do over hear, those people's feelings matter as doestheir impression of what is acceptable.* Friends commonly insult each other, some times they are both okay withthis and are both enjoying it. Other times one of them isn't happy with itand if they were rational beings they would have left the friendship longago. In the end we don't care and have set guidelines on what we considerto be acceptable behaviour in tournaments.All that said, “You suck” is very very minor. It is no where near thethreshold for USC-Major. I'd have a hard time putting it into the USC-Minorbasket. Due to years of bad conditioning I'd probably let it slide withoutthe slightest flicker of interest. If I thought about it properly I'd justwant to interject a request to them to keep things civil and to voice theircomplaints in a more mature manner, but this would be in a friendly andjovial manner with no threat or mention of future infractions.

I'm in this camp.

I'd probably talk to the players to explain to them that even though they both know it's a joke and they are friends, bystanders do not necessarily know this. It could set a poor example or make people feel uncomfortable that it's okay to say ‘you suck’ to your opponent. I'd ask them to watch their words not for the sake of each other's feelings but for the sake of the tournament environment.
I wouldn't give a USC penalty.

USC penalties have a higher potential to escalate. If we believe that the behavior can be corrected without the reinforcement of the penalty, then there's some latitude to do without it.

It's a purely subjective infraction. My philosophy is simple: Would the average person find that to be offensive?

If two friends are joking with each other and one says “you suck” to the other, I don't believe the average person would find that offensive. To be clear, I don't need ANYBODY to be offended to issue a penalty. But I also don't issue a penalty automatically because someone IS offended. These are not automatic, at least to me.

I heard something at GP NJ this weekend. I think it was David Rappaport who said it. He said no instance of USC has ever been resolved by issuing a USC penalty. And that's true.

USC penalties have a higher potential to escalate. If we believe that the behavior can be corrected without the reinforcement of the penalty, then there's some latitude to do without it.

If you go by this thinking, you allow a loud and belligerent player to intimidate you into not giving an infraction. Whether the penalty will escalate the situation shouldn't be a factor in you giving it, although it may be a factor in how and when you give it.

I heard something at GP NJ this weekend. I think it was David Rappaport who said it. He said no instance of USC has ever been resolved by issuing a USC penalty. And that's true.

Also going to disagree with this being “true.” There are some players who will be belligerent intentionally to see what they can get away with. If you let them go with the stern talk, the lesson they get out of it is “I got away with it. This judge is soft.” I have earned the respect of initially belligerent players by giving them the Warning, and they have come back later to apologize and thank me for standing up to them.

Reading a little more into it, perhaps what Dave was trying to say is that it is important to talk to the player, and not just hit and run them with a USC penalty. That I can agree with. But if they earned the penalty, you should give it to them.

That was the point, Riki. Issuing the penalty itself never solved anything. The conflict has to be resolved, THEN we can worry about penalties. I saw a fight break out in a soccer game earlier this month and the referee is just standing there in the middle of all the pushing and shoving blowing his whistle and waving a red card all over the place. He looked like an idiot, to be honest.

Gain control of the situation, resolve any conflict (or at least bring it to a manageable level), then worry about penalties :)

Originally posted by Riki Hayashi:

If you go by this thinking, you allow a loud and belligerent player to intimidate you into not giving an infraction. Whether the penalty will escalate the situation shouldn't be a factor in you giving it, although it may be a factor in how and when you give it.

Right you are. I was thinking of the reasoning behind giving the Caution for Slow Play.